Conti.. Spirituality of the Old..Religious- Part 111.C.2 

 Bandhu Ishanand Vempeny, S. J.

                                                               

       SPIRITUALITY OF THE OLD ESPECIALLY OFTHE RELIGIOUS - Part11I                             III.  SEARCH FOR A SPIRITUALITY FOR THE OLD . 

2. The Challenges of Abnormality

Jung had said that if somebody were to say that he/she is not abnormal, he would be the person to treat that individual. This is especially so with regard to the old. If a child behaves quite differently from the norm set by the adults, it is understood as child’s play, lila, childrens’ pranks, and the like. As it is obvious in the pranks of Child Krishna, these mischiefs and pranks make the children all the more attractive.

The elderly people, physiologically and psychologically resemble children in a number of details. But an elderly man’s abnormality often is interpreted as dotage if not madness. People forget that many of the abnormalities of old age are ‘normal’. If an elderly person deliberately indulges in the pranks and mischiefs of children, it would look like the playfulness of the donkey of Aesop Tales, which did so imitating his master’s puppy to get the attention, love and care the latter was getting from their master. 

To face the problems of outdatedness, the first thing to do is to educate oneself in self-awareness about the reality of old age. The second thing is to educate oneself to be a good listener with interest and affection. If you put in a few words of wisdom, they must be in response to the talks of the young visitor. If you are partly deaf you should be and seem to be more attentive to the talks of the visitor in order to avoid making him repeat too often.

 a.Abnormality Due to Our Religious Vows

As Maslow has pointed out, if our lower needs like the physical needs and recognition needs are not satisfied or sublimated, as we Religious are supposed to do, they would get “fixated” and would express themselves in the wrong way, at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Let us take the question of our vow of chastity. I remember the scene of a very highly enlightened man, known to be deeply spiritual, being led to his room after a TV programme by a Brother Religious who is in charge of the dispensary.  He was holding with his one hand the shoulder of the Brother while the other hand was occupied with his walking stick. He saw two young nurses appearing on the scene. Suddenly he pretended to be falling down, crying “My lumbago is hurting me.” Soon the nurses helped him to move to his room and lie on his easy chair. His lumbago-pain disappeared there and then. The Brother and the Nurses were well aware of the source of his pain on the lumbago.

I can enumerate numerous cases of this type of fixated sexual needs in old Religious. The person whom I remember most is the one who was known all over the South Indian Religious communities as an exceptionally spiritual person with special charism for giving retreats and spiritual direction. His commitment to “angelic chastity” was so deep that he avoided looking at women as far as possible and if he looked at women at all, it was above the neck. When he was admitted in a nursing home, as a tired old priest, he was at first unwilling to have the services of female nurses. When at last he allowed their services reluctantly, to keep the vow of obedience to the superior, his attitudes began to change rather abruptly. He changed to such an extent within a short time that he could not do almost anything, including getting up from the bed, moving out to the bathroom, eating, drinking and bathing without the help of the female nurses.

These two examples were taken from many other similar printable ones. There is nothing to be surprised at such fixation if the sexual drives had been suppressed rather than sublimated. To avoid such unhealthy situations, the first thing an eldering Religious should do is being aware of the possibility of one falling victim of this type of abnormal behaviours. Equally important is to get feed back from people who serve him/her. 

          It has been conclusively proved that touch (kissing, embrace, etc.) is vital for a child’s healthy growth. To some extent this need is felt very much by the elderly Religious. This is especially so since we do not experience loving and healing touches, as the married people get from their spouses or children. For some senior men and women religious, pet dogs, cats, squirrels, etc. do this service by way of substitution. Massaging by experts can partly fulfill this need thereby serving physical as well as psychological health.

 b.Abnormality caused by Robotization

We know how our grandparents had their special chairs to sit down, special places for meal, prayer and watching the TV. For many elderly Religious their programmes from morning to evening go in a mechanical way. Hitches in their routine can cause great trauma to them and uproarious scenes in the community. I remember the trauma experienced by a retired mother superior when her hair-dryer could not function in a rural area where power-cut (scheduled stoppage of electricity to save energy) was a usual phenomenon.

          If old people develop self-awareness and are open to feedback from those who take care of them, many of the abnormalities can be avoided. All the same, a lot will remain with us till we close our eyes forever.

( Coming up next Part lll.C.3. Some Practices for a Healthy Old-Age)